Little Girl and Kitty in the Meadow

My wife is a creep. Effie keeps this menacing picture that she’s had for years on the wall in her bedroom. She knows how much I don’t care for it. There is something so unsettling about the way the little girl and her kitty stare at you. This evening I came home from the market to find the tiles from the Bananagrams game Effie and I were playing after dinner had been arranged in a most ominous manner. Of course Effie claims she had nothing to do with it. Perhaps the cats collaborated to conspire against me.

Little Girl and Kitty Little Girl and Kitty Little Girl and Kitty Little Girl and Kitty

As you can see, there were upside down tiles that, when flipped over, revealed a more gruesome image. Now little girl and kitty don’t want to keep me warm, they want to keep my arm — a smoking gun indicating one-armed Effie’s involvement.

Little Girl and Kitty Little Girl and Kitty Friends Forever and Ever

When I got to this part, I expected perhaps the “secret just for you” might contain a more playful hidden message.

I have a secret just for you.

Kitty was just hungry… And the little dead-eyed girl wants to ax me a question.

I have hunger...

This is just one of the millions of reasons I love my wife…

17 Comments

  1. Brumle Mann says:

    Silly childhood game – Uncle Wiggily
    I cower in abject horror
    Approaching space number 109
    Home of the gaunt and haggard shell of the Skeezix

  2. Adam says:

    Gawd damn Wiggly – you’re one lucky mofo dude. That’s an awesome woman to spend your life with. You rock dude, keep the cool tales coming, and I’ll keep reading them… on Reddit.

  3. Kyle says:

    It means that we Redditors are going to look at the pictures and he was not prepared for the traffic. It will pass.

    Very nice project on the table, I am sure this will be popular for a while, welcome to the internet where 10,000,000,000 people will look at your pictures before its over!

  4. Bryony says:

    I am bookmarking this page. You’re the coolest guy ever. I wish you were my grandpa, we’d be best friends. Please keep writing stuff (:

  5. Mith says:

    The reddit post about this was YOU! Hahahaha…I love it.

    I stumbled onto your Reddit celeb status through your Grandson’s post about realizing his Grandfather is a Redditor. You sir, are my hero. I am adding your blog to my reading rotation.

  6. Unnamed says:

    I am just going through all your posts and boy am I glad that I found them. Keep being awesome and I wish you all many more decades filled with love and joy.

  7. David says:

    Dear Sir,

    I wish I could give you and your wife an upvote for this one.

    Stay fabulous,

    David
    (from the internet)

  8. tomtomtom says:

    You sir, are what I can only aspire to be in 50 years time.
    Truly epic – and the grandson thing on reddit – had me laughing for hours, smiling for days.
    Awesome blog.

    /Tom

  9. misssunshine says:

    Love your blog! Thank you for sharing your (mis) adventures! BTW I love the creepy little girl and kitty pianting! Who’s the artist??

  10. Willoughby2 (from Reddit) says:

    Love the blog, love your humor, HATE what that ass Panek (and some equally snotty others) did on Reddit. He’s a fool – and worse, a fraud as he claims he is doing something worthwhile. Karma, I hope it kicks him in the butt. Meanwhile, I hope you don’t give up either this blog or posting. It means nothing to me one way or another who you are, as I didn’t come here to ‘emotionally invest’ myself in you, I came to enjoy your writings. Btw.. I wasn’t familiar with you before that ‘my grandpa is on reddit’ post, but that, my friend was one of the best threads ever! Keep cool.

  11. Mononaut says:

    I second Willoughby2′s opinion on the matter. I think the vigilantes on Reddit are entirely out of line, and everything about the Grandpa Wiggly character is pure art. I’m amazed that they’re even as upset as they are, considering how spectacularly absurd some of your stories are (I don’t believe that anyone can spend that much time thinking about mayonnaise, anyways).

    You made Reddit a better place with your stories. You made everyone feel better about being there, regardless of who they were. Reddit’s thought police can fuck themselves for changing that. It’s a shame that things unfolded the way they did, because this only exemplifies the hypocrisy of Reddit. If we can’t just appreciate originality for what it is, then I suppose we don’t deserve it.

    On behalf of The Internet, I’m sorry. You don’t deserve to be treated this way.

  12. teedot says:

    “On behalf of The Internet, I’m sorry. You don’t deserve to be treated this way.”

    On behalf of The Internet, I endorse the above apology and reaffirm that you are an entertainer extraordinaire. You deserved not what they did to you.

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