Butter Luck Next Time

Help me, Grandpa Wiggly!

I was trying on my girlfriend’s engagement right before i pop “the question” and now it’s completely stuck. She gets back in 30 minutes and I don’t think I can hide my hand from her all night (I’ve tried butter).

My, my, what a predicament. You can never rely on butter for anything. You butter believe it!

Have you tried mayonnaise yet? Mayonnaise should have been the first thing you tried. Nothing is slipperier than mayonnaise! I got my finger stuck in my ill-tempered, one-armed wife’s once and had to slather it up with great gobs of mayonnaise to get it out before she woke up.

Lube it up real well with a lot of mayonnaise (at least half a gallon) and let the mayonnaise ooze and absorb into your phalanges and pores for a few minutes. That ring should slide right off. But for goodness sake don’t lick up all the mayonnaise until it does! Resist the urge and mayonnaise shall be your reward.

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