People often ask me, “Grandpa Wiggly, why don’t you sell your Wiggly Mayonnaise online?” Well, the answer is quite simple: Homemade mayonnaise has a short shelf life, usually just a few days, no more than a week, and it has to be refrigerated at all times. By the time it would arrive at your house it would look something like this:

bad-mayo

The best mayonnaise is the mayonnaise you make yourself. And now you can make your very own Wiggly Mayonnaise at home. (Although it’s not authentically Wiggly without Grandpa Wiggly!)

INGREDIENTS

• half a cup of peanut oil (or a favorite flavorful nut oil of your choosing)
• half a cup one cup of corn oil
• one tablespoon of sesame oil (optional)
• two egg yolks (one egg yolk for every half cup of oil)
• one tablespoon of honey Dijon mustard
• one tablespoon of fresh lemon juice or white wine vinegar (or half of both)
• one small squeeze of indigenous honey
• one garlic clove, crushed (optional)
• a pinch of salt
• a pinch of pepper
• a pinch of paprika
• a pinch of cayenne pepper
• a pinch of onion powder
• a pinch of tarragon

INSTRUCTIONS

All of your ingredients should be at room temperature before you begin. I prefer right at 21 degrees Celsius (70 degrees Fahrenheit).

Place a damp tea towel beneath a large glass mixing bowl, and add the egg yolks. Beat well with a whisk for a couple of minutes.

Add the Dijon mustard, honey and a little salt and pepper. Mix with a whisk. Beat until they are thick and appear sticky. Your oil is more easily emulsified that way.

Add your oil very slowly, just a few drops at a time, beating well between each addition to avoid overwhelming the yolk and curdling the mixture. When the mixture starts resembling thick cream, the oil can be more easily absorbed by the egg yolks. As the mixture thickens, you can start to add your oil a little more quickly, but don’t rush it. Nobody likes a rushed mayonnaise!

Once it is all incorporated, whisk more vigorously for at least thirty seconds to make a thick, glossy mayonnaise, then add the vinegar and/or lemon juice. Whisk. The more you whisk, the thicker your mayonnaise will be. If you would prefer a thinner mayonnaise, add a little warm (not hot) water.

Stir in any remaining ingredients, such as garlic, herbs and spices. Whisk. Whisk. Whisk.

You now have Mayonnaise in its simplest form! Resist the urge to eat it. Your mayonnaise will have more of a creamy yellow color than store bought mayonnaise. That’s how you know its homemade mayonnaise!

Refrigerate your mayonnaise for at least two hours, allowing it to cool completely. Use within three days!

Once your mayonnaise has cooled you can enjoy it. But save some for Grandpa Wiggly!

TIPS & POINTERS

Some mayonnaise recipes call for sugar, not Wiggly Mayonnaise. I prefer to add a little sweetness to my mayonnaise using sweet honey Dijon mustard and a dash of honey. Always use indigenous honey! You should buy local honey and only eat honey that is indigenous to your area and climate. No sugar means a healthier mayonnaise!

Olive oil, especially EVOO (Extra Virgin Olive Oil) will make your mayonnaise tangy and too heavy. Eventually the weight of the olive oil will cause it to separate from the egg and that’s not mayonnaise. If you truly desire the taste of olive oil in your mayonnaise then substitute it for one-fourth (but no more than a half) of your corn oil.

For extra EXTRA thick mayonnaise: Freeze your eggs over night and then allow them to thaw. Make sure they cool to room temperature before you begin to make your mayonnaise.

For a thinner mayonnaise: Add in heavy whipping cream, half and half, or milk. The more you add, the thinner your mayonnaise will be.

If you want your mayonnaise to be not as rich, incorporate a whole egg, not just the yolks. Don’t forget to adjust your oil.

Mayonnaise with just white wine vinegar and no lemon juice will have a longer shelf life. Ideal if you’re making mayonnaise for the season or for holiday/birthday gifts.

Mayonnaise can be kept at room temperature, covered with cling film, until ready to use. However, it is not wise to keep it for more than a few hours unless you use pasteurized eggs.

Do not serve mayonnaise in a silver sauce dish: it will oxidize rather quickly and turn your mayonnaise black. Nobody likes black mayonnaise!

To use an electric mixer to make mayonnaise: Beat egg yolks with salt and lemon juice on low until mixture is thick and sticky. Very gradually add oil, beating continuously on medium speed.

BASIC MAYONNAISE RECIPE

If you are nervous about making mayonnaise for the first time, or find yourself concerned about wasting ingredients on a possible botched batch of mayonnaise, try practicing with the most basic mayonnaise recipe there is:

• two egg yolks
• one cup vegetable (or canola ect.) oil
• one tablespoon lemon juice or vinegar (or half of both)
• half a teaspoon of salt

Starting with room temperature ingredients, whisk acid, salt and egg yolks together until thick and sticky. Very gradually whisk in the oil a few drops at a time until mixture is as thick as heavy cream. Continue whisking in oil. Refrigerate until use, use within 3 days.

6 Comments

  1. Chris says:

    I really like mayonnaise! I remember the first time I tried some when I was just 11 years old. My mom let me taste a bit of her on Thanksgiving. Right then and there I became a mayonnaise drinker. lol I would guess that I have tried quite a few hundred different mayonnaises over the years. It’s kind of fun tasting a new one and learning about how and where it was grown. I’ve been thinking about checking out a mayonnaise club lately and I’ve been thinking about this 4 Seasons club. I read a review about it. Have you had any experience with it, or would you recommend any other mayonnaise tasting club?

  2. Lizzy B. says:

    I refuse to spend my life worrying about what I eat. There is no pleasure worth forgoing just for an extra three years in the geriatric ward. Viva la mayonnaise!

  3. Kendra says:

    Amazing blog! Do you have any advice for aspiring writers? I’m planning to start my own site soon but I’m a little lost on everything. Would you suggest starting with a free platform like WordPress or go for a paid option? There are so many choices out there that I’m totally confused… Any suggestions? Cheers!

  4. Virgil says:

    I can see that you are putting a lots of efforts into your blog, PAW PAW. Keep up the good work! And PLEASE come back to Reddit.

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