Hello, world! Grandpa Wiggly here with more of your correspondence. Today’s letter asks one of Grandpa Wiggly’s favorite questions in the whole wide world:
Dear Grandpa Wiggly,
What did you have for dinner last night? I had pizza and a few beers.
Well, grandchildren Josh, first things first: Beer is not a good thing to have for dinner. In fact, drinking in general can be very dangerous if you’re not careful. It can lead to accidents or even marriage (eek! 🙂 and you don’t want that. You’re also at a higher risk of going off on a drunken tirade. Casual drinking can still be fun. Just don’t drink and drive. Ever! If you need a ride, call your Grandpa Wiggly.
You must have known that I love talking about my last night’s supper. I assume you mean supper, because Grandpa Wiggly considers dinner to be what most people call lunch. My supper is what you probably call dinner. Even though you asked about dinner, which is lunch to me but supper to you, your clearly initiated inquiry indicated a meal consumed “last night.”
Many years ago, my ill-tempered, one-armed wife, Effie, or as some of the mean kids on the block call her, Grandma Nub, instituted an executive marriage dinner decision by eliminating the light midday meal known as lunch all together, and instead began cooking a heartier (and heavier) dinner. We usually eat dinner between 10 and 11 in the morning, followed by a short walk, and then a refreshing afternoon nap. That’s when Effie watches her stories. Such rubbish!
Regardless of all that, I had the same thing for supper last night as I did for dinner, which is lunch to you. Are you with me, Josh? Okie dokie!
Part of what fuels Grandpa Wiggly is what goes into Grandpa Wiggly, and what goes into Grandpa Wiggly comes out of Grandpa Wiggly. Effie didn’t cook any supper last night so I had my two favorite foods: corn niblets and wet bread. As you probably know, Grandpa Wiggly no longer has his original teeth. “You’re all gums,” Effie says. That’s just what happens when you get old. You start to lose things like teeth, hair, pants, and even your… um… I forgot. What was Grandpa Wiggly going on about again?
Haha! I’m just joshing you!
So, Internet, do you eat dinner or supper? What did you have for supper (or dinner) last night?