Miracle Whiplash

There are many reasons for putting mayonnaise in a syringe, they do it all the time at the Mayo Clinic, but putting a syringe in mayonnaise is not just unsafe, it’s plain cuckoo. Thankfully, that’s not exactly what happened, though you wouldn’t know that if you get your news from WLNS in Lansing, Michigan. See if you can spot the great injustice…

Michigan police investigate syringe found in mayonnaise:

On Monday evening a woman bought a jar of Miracle Whip mayonnaise at the Dollar General in Brooklyn and then removed the seal before placing it in the fridge. Later her husband found a syringe pushed down into the middle of the jar.

I don’t know how many times I have to say this but… Miracle Whip IS NOT MAYONNAISE!

To call that vile sour salad cream condiment abomination mayonnaise is an insult to mayonnaises everywhere. Miracle Whip is a sauce condiment that was developed by the Kraft Conglomerate as a less expensive, and much less delicious, alternative to mayonnaise in 1933.

The headline should not even invoke the name mayonnaise! This is a total smear campaign! Here is the correction I sent to WLNS in Lansing.

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